Hello there,
Last time I wrote about how I am a “bit” of a control freak, meaning, I am a control freak.
On the exterior, people see a calm demeanor, a relaxed, mellow Ellie, but on the inside, I am a churning volcano, ready to blow!
Okay, maybe that’s not the most accurate image, but sometimes it feels that way.
Characters are people and I confess I don’t particularly like people. I mean, I do and I don’t. People have expectations. We’re insecure and fearful and our behavior and actions come from these places. (I thought when I graduated high school, I was done with that nonsense, until I started working in an office – “Holy Moly” as Grumpy Old Man, Max Goldman (Walter Matthau) would say.)
And so, part of my desire to control my characters came from the fact that I can’t control the characters around me. I was thinking, how wonderful, I have some people I’ve created that I can control, but lo and behold, they are uncontrollable too.
My question is this: If a writer isn’t so fond of people, can that person be a good writer? My fellow writers, are you fond of people?
Honesty and vulnerability are important qualities or characteristics needed in any human being. Maybe I’ve stumbled on the answer.
If I feel somewhat distraught by humanity – our flaws, our propensity to continue to get it wrong – repeat history – make the same mistakes – repeat the same errors – then I need to lean into this feeling as a writer and embrace it in my writing; otherwise, the reader will know I am a fraud and toss my novel, poetry, etc. aside.
Fortunately, I have hope and faith that in the end, it will turn out well. Isn’t that what Woody Allan had Gertrude Stein say in Midnight in Paris?
“We all fear death and question our place in the universe. The artist's job is not to succumb to despair, but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.”
If you need a break and a good laugh at the struggles a writer has with character, The Man Who Invented Christmas is a good movie. Charles Dickens and Scrooge – one of the most unforgettable characters in literature. But, do I mean Scrooge or Dickens? We’ll never know.
Until next time,
Ellie